I ask this as one of those semi-prone-to-slight-depression types who often wonders what is the cause of it all. I've got lots of wonderful friends, a relatively drama-free family, a great guy, a life-in-general on the mend, a great-paying job... so what gets me down?
Psychologist Valerie Whiffen asks the same question in her new book, A Secret Sadness. The book makes this hypothesis:
"Women experience depression at a higher rate than men, and researchers have recently uncovered evidence that suggests this may be due to the higher importance they place on their interpersonal relationships."
...which seems pretty obvious to me. I'm sure that she focuses on and particularly speaks to women who have been subject to long-term degrading, abusive, or emotionally distant relationships, but I couldn't help thinking of a more comical explanation.
On Wednesday, my dear friend Qui and I went to see a long-time favorite comedian, Dave Barry. Besides being so hilarious that I could, at times, barely breathe, he imparted a bit of wisdom concerning male-female relationships. He told a story excerpted from one of his books that highlighted just how differently two people can look at the same conversation... much less the same relationship.
So, no, it doesn't surprise me that our relationships make us sad - but is it the actual relationships or just our perception of them?
1 comments:
I'm still a little obsessed with the book The Five Love Languages. I'm guessing that most women would say that the idea you're looking at (i.e., relationships make women depressed) applies mostly to those who would say that their "love language" is quality time, as opposed to gifts, physical touch, words of affirmation or acts of service.
Then again I have no clue.
Dave was great - thanks for taking me to live the dream! xo
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